Change scares me.
and yet, i realize that sometimes change is necessary.
and when it comes to my health and the lifestyle i live, I’m the one who has a choice to make. Do i want to be healthy, or am i content to continue gaining weight and dealing with constant joint pain?
Change starts with me.
i can whine and complain about my weight and how tired i constantly am, but as long as i continue to eat gluten and other inflammation-causing carbs, I have no one to blame but myself.
i can look in the mirror and cringe at the person looking back at me, or I can choose to change my lifestyle and eat foods that will improve my mood and emotional well-being.
quite frankly, I’m tired of not liking myself.
and I’m tired of standing in my closet in tears because all of my clothes are getting too tight, and i have nothing larger to wear.
the hardest part of all of this is the reality that i got this way because of poor choices that I made.
and I’m the only one who can do something about it.
but there’s something important that I’ve come to realize; I can lose the weight and end up with the flattest tummy in the world, but until I can learn to be content with who i really am, it won’t matter at all.
the number on the scale isn’t going to change who i am on the inside, and neither will my pant size.
and yet, i tend to put all this focus on the weight and on my appearance, forgetting that I need to get to the root of my struggle.
for me, the root of my struggle is my tendency to want to be someone different than the person i was created to be.
i want to be thin like this person, or have hair like that person, and the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.
and you know what? i know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this.
i think that women in general tend to struggle with their identity, and to be honest, i feel like it’s some sort of curse.
i feel like there’s this unspoken level of perfection that women are expected to aspire to, and if they don’t they’re considered a failure.
and sadly enough, our teen age girls are falling prey to all of this, and feel like failures before they’ve even been given a chance.
my point here is that, as women, we need to learn to support and encourage each other, and accept each other as the beautiful people that we are.
and i truly believe that by women accepting one another without condition, we will begin to see our value and will begin to experience freedom in being who we were created to be.