So today I start….

IMG_0184I’ve spent the past two days thinking a lot about the changes that I need to make regarding my health (aka carb addiction).

And to be honest, I’ve had to be very careful with my thinking because I tend to come up with plans that I’ve heard worked for other people, only to fail miserably at them myself.

I find myself going to the extreme of saying that I’ll never eat sugar again (I mean, who am i kidding, right??), and then all I can think about is sugar.  I dwell on it, fantasize about it, and even try to come up with a way to sneak it into my house.  I’ve then become a “closet-eater”, where i hide and consume all sorts of junk food without my family seeing me.

Once I’ve consumed the junk the guilt sets in.

i then feel like a failure, and I’m filled with shame over my lack of self-control.

all of those feelings unfortunately lead me to emotional eating, where i then consume more of the foods that I’m trying to avoid.

do you see what a vicious cycle this becomes??

Ugh.

anyway, back to my plan.

A sweet friend of mine shared with me a recipe for a delicious protein shake; at first i was skeptical because quite frankly, most shakes I’ve tried taste like absolute crap.  Just sayin.

anyway, i bought the protein powder and made the shake last week, and i was pleasantly surprised.  I actually liked it!  So, part of my new plan is to have a protein shake each morning for breakfast; or maybe I’ll switch it up and have eggs for breakfast and a shake for lunch.  Either way, i plan to have a shake each day.

in case you’re wondering why I’m choosing to have the shakes rather than cooking myself a healthy breakfast, it’s mainly because having the shakes makes deciding what to have for breakfast easy for me.  It also helps me avoid any temptations i may be having to eat a crappy, junk-filled breakfast that will leave me feeling like crap.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to track my calories as well as my carbs.  I really like the LoseIt app for tracking calories, and I’ve  found that the Carb Manager app is great for counting carbs.  I didn’t really want to deal with two apps when i track my food, but neither app tracks both carbs and calories unless i pay for the premium version, which i dont want to do.

I’m planning to stay under 100 carbs each day, which seems reasonable enough to me.  For a while, i tried staying under 50, but that got tricky.

I’m also planning to get on the treadmill tomorrow.  I haven’t worked out for a few weeks now, and it shows.  It’s amazing how working out motivates me to want to eat better; I guess i feel like since i worked hard to burn calories, i dont want to sabotage my efforts!  On the flip side, when I’m not working out, i tend to lose my desire to eat healthy.  On a side note, walking a couple of miles each morning does wonders for my mood, as well as my emotions.

while my goal is to lose weight, i also want to focus on my relationship with food and how i view it.  Quite frankly, i dont feel that i have a healthy relationship with food, and I really want to change that.  I feel like i live to eat rather than eating to live.  Baby steps, right?

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