Carbs, lovely carbs….

 

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carbs.

yummy, sugary, doughy, gluten-filled carbs.

why oh why do they have to taste so darn good?

and why does my body have to crave them SO BADLY???

ugh.

i do so well for a week (ok, maybe three days) and then i am overcome with this crazy, overwhelming need for sugar.  Or a bagel.  Or a cupcake.  Don’t you just love cupcakes??

and of course, i don’t stop at just one bite, or just one cupcake.

i keep eating the delicious goodness until it’s gone.

and then guess what happens….

i end up feeling miserable.

i get bloated, feel fatigued, and just feel miserable overall.

it sucks.

but here’s the thing, nobody forces me to eat the delicious goodness.

Or maybe i should say, no one forces me to OVER EAT the delicious goodness.

nope.

i do that just fine All. On. My. Own.

 

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this past weekend i had a bit of a wake up call.

i went shopping.

and when i saw myself in the dressing room mirror (those mirrors are evil by the way.  Pure evil.) i was appalled at what i saw.

i saw rolls around my middle that hadn’t been there a couple of months ago, and my tummy looked about 6 months pregnant.

trust me, I’m not exaggerating.  I wish i was.

now, let me make one thing clear: i am not obsessed with my weight, nor do i want to look like a supermodel.

i am however, a forty-something mama who wants to be healthy and who knows what weight i feel good at.

and right now, I’m 15 pounds over that weight.

as a result of the extra weight, i am experiencing major joint pain (thank you, carbs), I’m tired all the time, and my normal clothes don’t fit.

not only that, but diabetes runs in my family, and being overweight is a huge contributor to diabetes.

all my weight is around my middle, which at my age, also puts stress on my heart.

so all in all, my friends, this extra weight has to go.

because if it doesn’t, i may be going sooner than I’d like to.

and i dont like that idea at all.

I have four kids at home that still need me, and i want to be here to watch them grow into adults.

i want to grow old with my amazing husband, and enjoy my grandkids someday.

so what do i do about this?

well, for me, i know that the answer is to track my food and count calories, as well as eat low, healthy carbs.

and I need to do this consistently if i want to see progress.

i don’t know why this is so hard for me; 9 years ago i lost 40 pounds doing weight watchers.  And yet, i act like 15 pounds is this insurmountable amount of weight.

and i act like i dont know how to lose the weight.

i get frustrated and whine about the weight when the whole time, I’M THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME!

so tomorrow, i plan to wake up and walk 2.5 miles on the treadmill, and I’m going to work hard to eat within my allotted calories, incorporating low-carb foods into my meals.

and I’m not going to put tons of pressure on myself and make a big deal out of this.

once I start thinking about what i “think” I’m missing out on, my mind goes crazy and i start to obsess over it.

ridiculous, I know, but that’s truly what happens.

I plan to remind myself thoughout the day that it’s a privilege to make healthy food choices, and not a punishment.

quite frankly, the way I think about weightloss is half the battle.

 

**this post was shared on Wine’d Down Wednesday

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